And the beginning of a new era.
[00:00:00] Yo, what's good? This is Rich and you're listening to Competing on Purpose, a podcast about what it means to perform when it counts. And if you've been around for a minute or even you subscribe to this podcast over the last few months, you're probably like, yo, what happened to The Mental Wealth Show? Wasn't that just your podcast name? And it was, but that is no more because I realized it was time to switch things up.
[00:00:23] And I was thinking about when I started The Mental Wealth Show, I was in a much different season in life. I was just starting the trauma healing journey in 2021, basically. I also started training to get back in the track and field that year. But the big thing is that I was just starting the trauma healing journey. I was a year and change removed from quitting alcohol.
[00:00:49] Overall, I had taken a mental health leave from my day job because I got to a really rough spot. And at that time, I was also transitioning from focusing on personal finance as a niche. And so to me, when I took that mental health leave from work, I was thinking like, man, like mental health, like this is where it really is. Just given a lot of the realizations that I had during that time, things I learned about myself,
[00:01:15] things I learned about what it actually means and the benefits that come from working in corporate America, as opposed to leaving my day job, which is something that I was thinking about at the time, versus now where I'm not really focused on healing. I'm more focused on how do I get to the next level of high performance when I'm performing from a place of purpose and not a place of trying to be seen.
[00:01:44] And so I've been thinking about my own performance, particularly as it relates to track and field and the questions that I've had and the conversations that I want to have. And I had this light bulb moment a couple of weeks ago at my fifth Outdoor Masters Track and Field Championships. And so my first competition outdoors was in 2022. And so 2022, 2023, and you get it up until 2026.
[00:02:13] And I've improved a lot since I first got back in the track and field. And there was also a stretch over these few years where I was dealing with a lot emotionally. And even last season, I wanted to get through that season because I had some stuff that was going on at home. And even the way like the end of that season and how that went, didn't love it. But it didn't matter because I had so much other stuff going on.
[00:02:39] I was also looking for a job at this time a year ago, just right in the middle of a dry stretch in the job search. So there was just a lot of stuff that was going on. But this year, I don't have some of that. I'm going to call it weight. I do have the lingering. My body knows that something happened around this time last year. And there are still things that are going on at home and things that are just happening in life.
[00:03:06] But from the perspective of where I'm focused and what I'm thinking about, it's how do I get to high performance and the best version of myself at work? And I think I'm operating at a very good version of myself. In the last episode, I talked about some habits that I was working on developing in terms of not overanalyzing. And to cut to the point on that, I did make some progress.
[00:03:33] But so much of what I'm thinking about has to do with high achievement and not so that I can be recognized externally, but to confirm and test for self what is possible. So at work, what is possible when I'm in a role where I get to use my full brain every day? And I'm seeing what's possible, but I'm also seeing the fatigue that comes from that as a result. But it's a different type of fatigue.
[00:04:01] It's different being emotionally exhausted from the work that you're doing versus being mentally exhausted because you've been using your brain all day and you've been context switching. And then in the context of, well, to use the word context again, and then in track and field, there's the ongoing journey that I've had with the long jump. But also coming to this realization that the triple jump is my better event in this season of life.
[00:04:30] And that's something that I realized at this most recent outdoor nationals, because to really get to it, my performances were season lows across the board. And also where the meet was in Ohio, the wildfire smoke from Canada made its way down. The air quality was especially poor. And the first two days of the meet basically got postponed. The schedule got adjusted.
[00:04:53] And what this meant for me in terms of the long and triple jump was that instead of three jumps, take the top eight and make the finals, it would be four jumps for everyone. And I typically make the finals at a U.S. national. So I was counting on having six jumps. So that was definitely a factor, given that I tend to get better as the competition progresses. And I'm working on how do I get that first jump or those first jumps to be the best jumps.
[00:05:18] And I've talked about the challenges I've had with runway speed and being faster in warmups than I am on the actual runway. So there's still things to work on there. But even with the season low performances, I still managed to take first place for my age group in the triple jump and second place for my age group in the long jump. And then I think I even took third place for my age group in the high jump.
[00:05:48] And the positive to that was all these people I told that I was going to compete at this meet. I'm coming back with something to show for it. And to be honest, I didn't even know that I got the silver and the bronze medals until the next day when I saw a track club teammate because now I'm also part of another track club. And he told me that I'd actually scored points in these other two events.
[00:06:11] And at the time of competition, I was so frustrated with how the events went that I didn't even look afterwards to see where I placed in the long jump because it went so poorly. And then also with the high jump, what I cleared, I was like, there is no way. There's no way that I'm going to place.
[00:06:29] But because of the wildfires, because of the schedule changes, and there were also issues with storms across the country, there were a lot of people who ultimately didn't make it to the competition. Some of the higher performing, further jumping, higher jumping athletes who didn't make it to the competition for my age group.
[00:06:48] So as a result, even though I had season low performances, I was still able to take first, second and third across these three events. And there is the some days it's like that. It's about who shows up. It's about who's actually there that day.
[00:07:08] If you take this to team sports like basketball, football, when a team has multiple injuries and then the other team is able to take advantage of that, it's the same thing in track and field. You could say that. That is a very valuable lesson here. However, for me, I am past the point of just showing up and that being a victory.
[00:07:31] I love the feeling of competing and proving to self, not to anyone else, showing to self that I'm capable of what I thought I was or what I think I am. And I thought I wasn't what I think I am. Whatever. You know what I mean? I'm capable. So to me, and this is no disrespect to any of the other athletes who competed. We're all at our own spots. Even me, I am not an internationally elite athlete.
[00:08:01] I am a slightly above average athlete, a national and maybe regional and maybe depending how far international you want to go. If you want to take maybe North America for the events that I do, even then, I am a slightly above average athlete. So I have to work really, really hard. And I know my limits at this age.
[00:08:25] And I know going into the world championships that based off of what I've seen in these performances, particularly what I saw at outdoor nationals, the chance of me making the finals in the long jump is basically new. Like it's just not going to happen. The gap is way too far.
[00:08:43] And part of what I realized from the competition is that I'd rather jump well and not place than take first place and not feel like I earned it. And that's kind of where I am. So I am grateful that I competed and ended up healthy. I am grateful that I had the best season so far that I've had in the triple jump.
[00:09:11] I am grateful that I didn't have, and I said ended the season healthy. I didn't have any type of injuries. It's the first season since I've been back that I haven't had any type of issues, knock on wood, with worlds still to come. But I didn't have any issues during the regular season, and I competed more than I did any other track season so far. So that is a huge positive.
[00:09:34] But for the amount of time, money, and effort that I'm investing in this, I do have higher expectations for myself. And I've talked to my therapist about it, and in listening back to a couple of episodes ago, I was talking about how badly I want this long jump goal.
[00:09:53] And part of what I realized at nationals is that it's time to deprioritize it because I'm focusing so, so much on it and just trying so hard and so hard and not spending any attention on the triple jump because the long jump is what I did in college. The long jump is the reason that I got back into track and field. The long jump was such a big part of my identity. The long jump is where I'm spending all my time.
[00:10:18] While the triple jump has consistently been my better event, even though I haven't practiced it. And so knowing that this world championship competition is coming up, I'm putting my energy in these remaining weeks into making at least one improvement in the triple jump that can help me find a foot.
[00:10:38] And by find the foot, I mean find the foot of distance because it may not take a personal best to make the finals, but it will take close to it. I know that just from looking at all of the other entrants in the events based off of what they've jumped this season.
[00:10:55] And so that's where I'm going to pivot and start investing my time finally and also going forward to see what is actually possible in this event when I put my energy and my focus into it. And I think part of the reason up to this point that I've had more success with the triple jump is because it didn't have all of that pressure and baggage attached to it.
[00:11:20] Even getting back in the track and field, knowing that I had a long jump goal in mind that was equivalent to, but representative of my age now that I ultimately wanted to jump. And just being focused on getting to that for years now and the triple jump just kind of being a throwaway event that I've had fun with it.
[00:11:39] But because I'm having fun with it and it doesn't have those expectations attached, and it doesn't have those expectations attached, there hasn't been the same level of tightness and break. No, there has been a lot of breakdown, but I've been able to overcome some of that because I've been looser in how I've approached the event overall than the way that I've approached the long jump.
[00:12:04] And so that gets into the name of the podcast, this idea of competing on purpose. And I've also spoken in the past about purpose-driven high performance. But after the long jump at nationals, I sat there and was like, yo, is this actually fun anymore? And to me, that was a sign that it was time to not just deprioritize, that was the conclusion, but also to reflect on why do I continue to do this event?
[00:12:33] And it's been about chasing redemption, trying to write a new chapter in an existing book to close the story or close the book that I don't feel that I got to finish the story on in college because I never got to reach my full potential due to injury pledging.
[00:12:53] And I remember at my athlete banquet, my college track team banquet senior year, the head coach was going around and talking about all of the seniors. And for me, he talked about what I could have been. For a lot of the other people, it was what they had done, what they had accomplished. But because I never got to where I thought I could get to and maybe where eventually he ultimately thought that I could get to.
[00:13:23] And I didn't realize how much that stuck with me until recently, the fact that I never capitalized on that potential. So getting back in the track and field for me was an opportunity to do that in a new season of life with new distances. Again, I don't expect to be jumping what I jumped 20 years ago. And there is an equivalent mark. But the fact that I focused in on that equivalent mark as soon as I got back into it and made that the goal that I've been chasing and chasing and chasing,
[00:13:52] it's made me blind or it's contributed to me not being able to see the potential that's been there with the triple jump. But as far as the why am I doing this? I realized at this point it's to prove to myself. It's to show what is possible, not to fixate on achieving a particular number or target.
[00:14:13] It is to see what I can get to in this season of life with a completely clear slate as opposed to anchoring on what I did before. And I think even over these few years, thinking about finally getting to have this big performance in front of my fellow athletes and peers to show that, see, I am actually as good as we've been talking about because people have seen me jump far. They've seen me foul big jumps.
[00:14:41] They've seen me drag a foot behind me. But they haven't seen me land a clear legal jump where everyone gets to go, yeah, that's what I'm talking about, Rich. Like, I haven't had that moment. And that is partially what I was after up to this point with the long jump, that validation that, yes, like you are more than capable. Not just we're just saying that to make you feel better at a moment that you feel like you sucked.
[00:15:11] Like, we saw you. We see you. There definitely was some of that before. But when I was sitting there at nationals, I was thinking to myself, like, that is, like, I know that that external focus, and I know that trying to avenge, change, alter the past is not possible.
[00:15:32] And that I am doing this now to see how far I can take this as a slightly above average athlete who has to work really hard to have even the level of success that I've had now. And knowing that there is a bit more in the tank overall if I could address some of these technical things that I've been working on forever.
[00:15:54] And so part of what I want to explore is talking to other athletes, talking to other people who are high-performing and high-achieving in different areas of life to understand the mindset, to understand how they've been able to overcome things, especially when you've already had some success. There's a difference between being fresh at the very start of your journey and already having accomplished some things,
[00:16:20] and then some stuff happens in life, and then you're trying to get back to it, which is also reflective of where I am now and where I've been for quite some times. I mean, realistically, when we think about this, like, I have been on this journey really since 2020 when I quit alcohol, split from my previous business partner, like, that was the very beginning.
[00:16:41] And I've been on this evolution since then, and it feels like I've reached that point where I can look forward and see, like, where I want to spend my energy, not just as a content creator, but also just where I'm spending time in life, like, the things that I'm thinking about at work, the books that I'm starting to listen to and read again because I realize one of my success conditions,
[00:17:04] and I've known this, that I am at my most productive or one of the conditions for me to be productive on a consistent basis is to consistently consume helpful, inspirational, motivational, informative content. Like, that works for me, listening to books on how to be creative. Like, I'm not listening to hear anything new.
[00:17:32] I'm listening to have something click and to just feed my mind and my thought process. Or I hear something said in such a way where I'm like, ooh, I like the way this person said that. Or like, you know what? Like, I could do a whole series talking about that. So getting back into things like that and finding other things that enable me to be successful, like, how do I overcome some of this innate tensing up that I'm doing on the runway and as I come closer to the takeoff board?
[00:18:01] Like, what is the mental, physical work and maybe even emotional work that needs to be done? Because I realized that this, I had this catastrophic-ish injury my sophomore year of college on what would have been the best jump of my life by far. And that's part of what I never really recovered from. And so is my body still tensing up from that, thinking about the possibility of what could happen and going through that level of pain again? I don't know.
[00:18:27] But those are the types of things that I would like to explore beyond just, like, productivity tips and, you know, here's how to set your habits. Like, yeah, there is some of that. But just as I've learned over the course of this journey to getting to a high-performance place, it also required a tremendous amount of work to get here.
[00:18:46] And it's going to require a tremendous amount of work in this next season of life to get to where I want to go as an athlete, as a professional, and even as a content creator. So I'm going to stop right there and make that the episode. That is the update. That's where I am basically after these past few months.
[00:19:08] I'm actually, at the time of this recording, getting ready to head out for a session with my coach to work on some of this runaway stuff. But I'm going to be talking a lot more about high-performance going forward specifically. And I'm going to start doing interviews again. I'm in no hurry. Again, I'm not going to create these expectations and I'm not going to put all of this pressure on myself. But similar to what I said about track, now it's about seeing what's possible.
[00:19:38] There is no expectation of people to please or showing. Even with this podcast, there was the baggage of I've been successful before and the stress and pressure of trying to get back to what I'd accomplished in the past. And there is no doing that. There is no bringing back past success. There was only creating success where you are now.
[00:20:01] And I've seen other content creators who've had changes in life who have spoken recently about wanting to get back to where they were or being fearful of not being able to produce and make the magic happen again. And as someone who has been there and done that in a few different lanes and has spent a lot of time trying to recapture, I want to know how other people have overcome that so that we can all learn from it.
[00:20:31] And that's something else that I just want to get back to. It's just like the straight up just helping people, being resourceful. Like that has always been the thing, helping people. And I want to continue to do that, but in this season of life in a way that makes sense. So I want to thank you so much for listening to this episode, this first episode of Competing on Purpose. As far as other things about the podcast, not much is going to change. It's very much still me.
[00:20:58] As part of seeing what's possible, if you've been with me for years, you know that I've been on and off with the consistency. But with this experiment, seeing what's possible is seeing what level of consistency I can get to. Because I know, and I've said this before, that I think something is different now that the podcast actually reflects where I am as opposed to me kind of having to look backward.
[00:21:24] I feel like competing on purpose allows me to look forward. And I forgot what it was that I was just about to say. Maybe it'll come back to me as I'm rambling here. And it has not. But again, I want to thank you so much for listening to this episode. There is so much more to talk about and so much more to come. But until next time, take care of yourself. Be well and get out there and earn that shit.
[00:21:55] Peace.